75+ Best Sarcastic Quotes & Sayings About Love, Life

75+ Best Sarcastic Quotes & Sayings About Love, Life

Below are 75+ best Sarcastic quotes and sarcasm sayings that we’ve gathered to help you enjoy everyday. See more funny quotes and Sayings on MindBootstrap.

 

Sarcastic quotes about love

 

Not everybody has to love me. I can’t force you to have good taste. tweet

 

A man can be happy with any women, as long as he does not love her. tweet

 

What’s a queen without her king? Well, historically, better. tweet

 

Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl who both loved each other. Then a slut came along and ruined everything. The end. tweet

 

I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you. tweet

 

Love is a blind whore with mental disease and no sense of humor. tweet

 

Related: Love Quotes

Sarcastic quotes about life lessons

 

Everyone has the right to be stupid. But you’re abusing the privilege. tweet

 

Some times you fall before you fly. In my case I had to stumble in the dark, fall on my face and get up again. Only to walk into the wall. tweet

 

Some people are so poor that all they have is money. tweet

 

We’re all in the same game; Just different levels. Dealing with the same hell; just different devils. tweet

 

Don’t worry about what I’m doing. Worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing. tweet

 

Wake up thirsty at midnight…walk to the kitchen…switch off the lights you left on…latch the door you left open…forget to drink water. Come back to bed thirsty again! tweet

 

Difference between school and life? School teaches you lessons and then gives you a test. Life gives you a test and you learn the lessons. tweet

 

Opportunities are like sunsets. If you wait too long, you miss them. ~William Arthur Ward tweet

 

I may look calm but in my mind I’ve killed you three times. tweet

 

You can’t be a good example then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning. tweet

 

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. tweet

 

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure. ~Murphy’s Law tweet

 

No regrets in life. Just lessons learned. tweet

 

There is a lesson in almost everything that you do, and getting the lesson is how you move forward. It is how you enrich your spirit. tweet

 

Speak when you are angry – and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret. ~Laurence J.Peter tweet

 

Do not let the behavior others destroy your inner peace. ~Dalai Lama tweet

 

If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly. ~Dr.Steve Maraboli tweet

 

Three stages of life:
1.Birth
2. What the fuck is this
3. Death tweet

 

You’ll never know if you can fly, unless you take the risk of falling. ~Nightwing tweet

 

Related: Life Quotes

Sarcastic quotes on life facts

 

If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question. tweet

 

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you. ~Steven Wright tweet

 

If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. tweet

 

People who reply to my sarcasm with sarcasm are my favorite. tweet

 

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. tweet

 

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class…it never ends. tweet

 

If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative. Know when to close the account. tweet

 

The road to success is always under construction. tweet

 

Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation. ~Michael Jordan tweet

 

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. ~Mark Twain tweet

 

Sarcastic quotes about relationships

 

If she replies to your sarcasm with sarcasm instead of getting offended…she’s a keeper. tweet

 

A weak man can’t love a strong woman. He won’t know what to do with her. tweet

 

If you are cooler than me, would that make me hotter than you? tweet

 

Real men make your panties wet, not your eyes. tweet

 

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit. tweet

 

If you’re in a relationship & all you do is cry everyday. You need to stop and ask yourself, am I dating a human or an onion. tweet

 

The awkward moment when you’re that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single. tweet

 

Have you ever had those days when you are holding a stick and everybody looks like a pinata? tweet

 

Love is a lot like a toothache. It doesn’t show up on X-ray but you know it’s there. tweet

 

I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night. tweet

 

Relationships are like a walk in the park. ~Jurassic Park tweet

 

Who wears the pants in our relationship? We prefer it when neither of us are wearing pants. tweet

 

As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: you can be right or you can be happy. ~Ralphie May tweet

 

Don’t worry about hurting my feelings because I guarantee you not one bit of my self esteem is tied up in your acceptance. tweet

 

A man has two options in a relationship: Either stand up and be the man she needs or sit down, so she can see the man behind you. tweet

 

I hide behind sarcasm because telling you to go fuck yourself is considered rude in most social situations. tweet

 

Relationship is not about AGE, not about DISTANCE, not about communicating every moment of everyday. What’s more important is having TRUST of girl to her man and the LOYALTY of man to his girl. tweet

 

More: Relationship Quotes

Sarcastic quotes about friends

 

Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive. tweet

 

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean…but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face. tweet

 

Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They are if you have wine. tweet

 

Fake friends are around when they think you’re cool. True friends are around even when they think you’re fool. tweet

 

It’s hard to find a friend who’s cute, loving, generous, sexy, caring, and smart. My advice to y’all is, don’t lose me. tweet

 

Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness and shenanigans. tweet

 

I look back at some of the stupidest stuff we’ve done and think, this is why we’re best friends. tweet

 

Friends are like boobs. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake. tweet

 

Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life. tweet

 

Dear fake friends,
First of all, you should know, I am typing this with my middle finger!! tweet

 

Good friends don’t let you do stupid things…alone. tweet

 

A good friend will try to bail you out of jail. A best friend will be in a cell next to you, saying, “Damn, that was fun!” tweet

 

Only real friends tell you when your face is dirty. tweet

 

Related: Friendship Quotes

Sarcastic quotes about work

 

I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen. tweet

 

Interviewer: So, tell me about yourself.
Me: I’d rather not..I kinda want this job. tweet

 

I can explain it for you but I can’t understand it for you. tweet

 

The reward for good work is more work. tweet

 

I wasn’t always this sarcastic. It took me many years of dealing with assholes to become this good at it. tweet

 

I use sarcasm at work, because slapping the shit out of someone is frowned upon by management. tweet

 

The hardest job in the world is having to listen to you complain about having the hardest job in the world. tweet

 

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply. Thank you. tweet

 

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work. tweet

 

I grew up living paycheck to paycheck, but through hard work and perseverance I now live direct deposit to direct deposit. tweet

 

Conclusion

I hope you enjoyed our gathered collection of the sarcastic quotes. Please share with your friends on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. Thanks for reading!

What is your sarcasm saying? Would you like to add another one here? Share in the comments!

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